Lost and Never Found: An Alcoholics Untold Story

Posted: May 9, 2017 in addiction, Alcoholic, alcoholism, family, inequality, mental health, sobriety, stigma
Tags: ,

 wp-1481663662401.jpg

 

Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature’s laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it’s dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared. You see you wouldn’t ask why the rose that grew from the concrete had damaged petals. On the contrary, we would all celebrate its tenacity. We would all love it’s will to reach the sun. Well, we are the rose – this is the concrete – and these are my damaged petals.” —Tupac Shakur

 

Parable of River Babies:

One summer in a small village, all the people gathered for a picnic. As they shared food and conversation, someone noticed a baby in the river, which was struggling and crying. It was clear
the baby was on the verge of drowning and facing imminent death if someone did not act swiftly.

Without thinking twice, someone promptly aborts everything to jump into the river and save the baby. Everyone’s heart had been racing in panic and confusion, rush to ensure the baby is safe. Just as things start to calm down, they notice another screaming baby in the river. Again, someone jumps in to pull the baby to safety.

Soon, more babies were seen drowning in the river and all the townspeople were pulling them out and the entire village was involved in many tasks of rescue work: pulling the poor children
from the stream, ensuring they were properly fed, clothed, housed, and integrated into life of the village. While not every baby could be saved, the entire village spent all their day trying to save as many as possible. As everyone kept busy in the recovery efforts, two townspeople started to run along the shore of the river.

“Where are you going!?” shouted one of the rescuers, “We need you here to help us save these babies!”

“Don’t you see?” They cried, “If we find out how they are getting into the river, we can stop the problem and no babies will drown! By going upstream we can eliminate the cause of the problem.”

“But it is too risky,” said the village elders, “It might fail. It is not for us to change the system. And besides, how would we occupy ourselves if we no longer had this to do all day?”

This parable explains the modern industry of human services. Another version would include someone jumping into the river and teaching the babies to swim. While it is fair to say that everyone in this situation is doing their absolute best to fight the problem, real change is only going to happen once we find out the core problem to eliminate more from falling into the river.

Is there some mysterious illness in these children? Had the shoreline been made unsafe by a natural disaster? Was some hateful person throwing them in deliberately? Or was there an even more exhausted village upstream that had been abandoning them out of hopelessness?

Just like with addiction and mental health, we can fix all the presenting symptoms, but there will never be long-lasting change until we can get to the root of the problem. Everyone is innocent and pure at their core.

The “Bad Person” Argument:

“She just pops them out and then we end up paying for them,” complains a clinician during a staffing session at a mental health facility.

“She just does this to get more drugs,” cries another in agreement.

This aforementioned client has just been admitted as mentally unstable and “just pops them out” refers to self-inflicted knife wounds in her abdomen in a desperate attempt to legally obtain
narcotics.

Without any background, experience, or education in this industry, any group of outsiders could unanimously agree that this behavior is not “normal.” But the behavior and actions are not the questions we need to ask in this industry; rather, the question should center around what is leading to this behavior?

Is it a choice? Is she just a bad person?

Would anyone, with a rational mind, “choose” to intentionally penetrate a sharp blade through their midsection just to score some drugs? Does anyone truly believe that jamming a knife in your stomach is the best available option?

This “choice” theory is still largely, and openly, debated in society. Despite the immense volumes of advanced evidence of addiction and mental illness, the stigma survives. The medical and scientific communities have proven these diseases through a plethora of research, studies, brain imaging technology, along with the work of the top neuroscientists in the world. Yet, the public disagrees.

Shall we debate whether or not the earth is round, the rotation, and how it orbits the sun? Shall we debate how fish do not need to be immersed in water to survive and that is their choice?

Why, as a society, can we not accept the overwhelming evidence regarding mental illness and substance abuse? This stigma we create and support is preventing people from receiving their inalienable human rights.

Thomas Jefferson’s original draft of the declaration of Independence states:

“We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable,among which are the preservation of life, & liberty, & the pursuit of happiness”

 

I remember this woman’s funeral quite well. Her adult children all arrived from out of town, had not been around for years, but made their grand entrance for the spectacle. You could sense the anger and negative energy in the room.

“She is going to burn in hell,” was the common theme among these kids who had not seen her in years and never really took a peek behind the mask. They never really knew their own mother. They were all in foster care before they were five years old, but made an appearance at her funeral to wish her well spending eternity in flames.

But the oldest daughter always stuck around, caring for her mother as she watched her slowly drink herself to death. Continuing to care for her mother, no one quite understood what made her return day-after-day and take on the abuse. They questioned her mental stability, courage and strength.

While they thought she was weak and pathetic, they missed out on experiencing the strongest and most courageous person in their lives. This level of unconditional love could not be broken. She did not listen to what others said about her, no one could prevent her from loving this “monster.”

Every day, people would expect her to stop showing up, stop caring, stop loving and stop trying. She saw something no one else saw. And if you haven’t been there before, there are no words in the world that can be said to make you understand. And if you have been there before, no words are needed and you already fully understand everything.

The daughter never heard the words, “I love you,” or “I’m sorry.”

There is no storybook ending. The woman died without ever saying goodbye. But, this woman did get what she always desired—to believe she was a good, worthwhile human. She had finally received her life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. This woman finally felt loved for the first time in her life during the last few years.

While the daughter may not have noticed this new unconditional love was reciprocal, I did notice. And it changed me forever.

I saw it in the mother’s eyes and I know the daughter was right all along.

I know so because the drunk lady is my grandmother. And when I was nine-years-old and visiting, I was begging for a football. It’s all that mattered to me. I had to have it, I was impulsive,
I needed it. Now, remember, my grandmother is this same, nasty old drunk I’ve been talking about for the past few pages, but she saw that I truly needed to have this football.

My grandma saw I needed it and she understood. She didn’t drink that day for the first time in nearly 45 years, because she gave me her last seven dollars to buy that football, which I still
have today.

That was my Grandma. And the oldest daughter was my mother.

I love you Grandma. Mom, you are my hero.


Taking the Mask Off: Destroying the Stigmatic Barriers of Mental Health and Addiction Using a Spiritual Solution


taking-the-mask-off-stigma-barriers-mental-health-addiction-spiritual-solution

Taking the Mask Off” is the new book by Cortland Pfeffer and Irwin Ozborne. Cortland Pfeffer spent years as a patient in psychiatric hospitals, treatment centers, and jails before becoming a registered nurse and working in the same facilities. Based on his experience, this story is told from both sides of the desk. It offers a unique and valuable perspective into mental health and addiction, revealing the problems with the psychiatric industry while also providing the solution – one that brings together science, spirituality, philosophy, and personal experience.

“Taking the Mask Off: Destroying the Stigmatic Barriers of Mental Health and Addiction Using a Spiritual Solution” is available on Amazon, and Balboa Press



Comments
  1. rlrobinson89 says:

    I love the way this post is written, and I feel it comes at a time where it really is poignant to me. Thanks for this wonderfully written piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. kayloudee says:

    So unexpected. Really sad for your grandma, your mother sounds like an incredible woman!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tripleclicka says:

    Reblogged this on tripleclicka and commented:
    What a beautiful post for those inside and outside the cages… Please read this…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. tripleclicka says:

    Reblogged this on Triple Clicka, plan to put a link on my secondary blog. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. […] or behind them.   I fought to get out my cage and I still do.  Reading a post that you can find here   I think of the Warden, a few family members and a few friends, all that I have been separated […]

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is inspiring. It is often the reactions of people that give fight to the monsters of mental health. You have defined addiction in a way that makes addicts second guess behavior while simultaneously enlightening those who are in the dark about mental health. Amazing

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the kindness. Most of the stigma comes from misinformation and very loud and opinionated people who really don’t know the facts. Shame has caused many of us to keep quiet, however to be silent is to consent to the behavior.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. c0ral33 says:

    Thank you for sharing your story so honestly and for continuing on the torch of compassion from your mother. It is so true, that it is so difficult, but necessary to see beneath the mask to begin healing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Becky Johnson says:

    I love this so much! Thank you for writing with honesty and vulnerability, it’s a beautiful thing! Last week someone close to me lost a son he hasn’t been in contact with for decades. The son died from a massive heart attack. Now the man, by others perspectives, may look like someone who didn’t give a shit or drank too much, or a million other reasons why he didn’t stay in contact with his son. But there’s always (ALWAYS) something under the skin of a life; a story we know nothing about, even when there is no “chart.” I mailed him a card with a handwritten note inside. I wrote to him that I was sorry to hear of his son’s untimely death. That I didn’t know the story and it was none of my business, but we all have a life story where, if given the chance, we’d go back and choose different. I scribbled out in pure genuine language that can only come from a person who doesn’t mince words to another who is not offended, that regrets are a mother fucker. I relayed thoughts I’d been having from my own life this Easter that we weren’t created to carry our own shit, and that the heart of God absorbed it. And that’s all I wanted him to know, because carrying regrets kill us, hiding onto the lies, kill us. And I ended with, I love you. I don’t expect to hear back, I simply needed to write a note to help loosen the weight of a life lived and a choice made that,when the news of the death came, was met with only God knows what. Anyway, your post reminded me and validated my reasoning in mailing it: love that’s expressed outside actions or behaviors. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • What an amazing thing you did. It is the midday amazing feeling when you are struggling, and you feel the world is against you and all is lost. Then someone does something like what you did, it’s truly a life changing thing. It keeps you going. You are a great person for doing something like this.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. twa2r says:

    Beautiful, warm, endearing and full of love. Everyone should know you.

    r

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Buddhistar says:

    The following quote from the movie, “A raisin in the Sun” says exactly what you are trying to say in this post: “There is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for yourself and for the family ’cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain’t through learning – because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ’cause the world done whipped him so! when you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is

    Like

  11. hellaturnup says:

    This is so touching, I cried. As someone with both parents that are alcoholics, I know how difficult it is. Thanks for bringing to light the horror of this disease, and the fact that alcoholism is just that, a disease.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My heart breaks for things that you have likely had to go through. But the fact that you are able to see ot as a disease shows what a special gift you have been given. People like you at go through a lot of pain, but are given the gift of being able to change the world.

      Like

      • hellaturnup says:

        That’s lovely, I’m not saying I wouldn’t change anything if I could because I would. Regardless, I love my mum. But I left home at 14 leaving my younger two siblings behind. So I can entirely relate to this. I have accepted that my mum and dad will probably die because of alcohol. It’s not like they haven’t had near death experiences already. You honestly described everything about this being a disease and how it begins so accurately, I kind of wanna say thank you because not enough is done to help those suffering. I really appreciate that, so thank you again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s a pretty remarkable story you have lived. You likely see the world in a whole different way than most. Truly remarkable

        Liked by 1 person

      • hellaturnup says:

        Thank you! As is yours

        Liked by 1 person

  12. hellaturnup says:

    And always, love will set us free.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Laura says:

    All I can say is wow. How powerful love is.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Max T. Furr says:

    Very good post and well written.

    “There were studies in Sweden of twins of alcoholic parents. One was raised in a good “normal” non-drug using home. The other was raised in the same “dysfunctional” home.”

    Do you have links to these studies? I’d like to read the details.

    “Aggressive benevolence” (showing kindness even to the mentally sick and especially to the unappreciative) is most difficult to maintain. One must have sincere empathy for others, whether they be family members, friends, or strangers.

    One must be able to put themselves in the place of the helpless and the aggrieved. One must recall the greatest doctrine of all, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” even if others remain unkind to you.” That is aggressive benevolence.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Catherine says:

    Thank you for sharing. My ex-husband wreaked havoc with our family due to his alcoholism. It was a Jeckle and Hyde lifestyle. My children and me–well, we’re scarred and we all have issues that we will never be rid of. However we try to live our lives in the most forgiving ways we can. This addictive disease affects everyone–not just the addict. Your post touched home. Thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutley, let’s not forget the family’s side of things and the pain that is left. It is a terrible family disease and it hurts everyone. I’ve always felt that not just the addict should get treatment, but the family or support system as well

      Like

  16. Unique insight. Thank you. This was amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. mtnleigh says:

    Amazing. Beautiful display of love and compassion.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hey there! This comment is a bit off topic for where I am posting it, but I wanted to share this comment I read on another blogger’s post about covert narcissism:

    I am a Mental Health Nurse of 34 years and when I started my investigation into this particular type of N, it changed my whole life and practice. False Humility in a helping professions is a typical cover to support and fuel their hidden Grandiose fantasies. These professions provide the context that ensures lots of N fuel, their EGO props. There is an obvious power – imbalance in these fields which is what they are always seeking and creating. Their entire social identity is invested in this mask, hence the reason for them aggressively lashing out when threatened. Undoubtedly the most damaging form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Covert narcissists, beneath their façade they are extremely insecure and emotional vulnerability hence the covert cover-up of these insecurities. Although the covert narcissist possesses the same traits as the overt narcissist (need for attention, approval, adulation and grandiose fantasies) these are not expressed in overt behaviour making them much more difficult to recognize. Some people go decades without recognizing the narcissist in their life. It has been suggested by some authors in the field that instead of using NPD to label this disorder, EPD (Evil Personality D/O) should be used. Duplicity is their speciality. And who is the Father of Lies, Darkness and Deception?

    Here is the link too: https://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/remember-the-covert/#comment-9574

    Liked by 1 person

  19. mtnleigh says:

    Reblogged this on subliminallytransmittedaffliction and commented:
    I read this blog this morning and it has stayed with me all day. I just felt compelled to repost it because it gives such a raw and honest perspective of a disease shared by a family. It is so easy to overlook an alcoholics suffering amidst behavior that often incites anger and pain. It is true that the alcoholic will very rarely be capable of compassion for themselves either. Their guilt and shame fuel their suffering and disease. The only positive end to this cycle is loving compassion by someone for whom does not deserve it. This is something so difficult, but also so healing for both in time…

    Like

  20. That is a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m at work and just read the entire story. I’m speechless, thanks for sharing. It opened up my eyes in so many ways. I’m sure your grandma is with the Lord and my true prayer is that we all find this love that’s unconditional. God bless

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Arwen says:

    Wow. This is so amazing. I can really sense the inspiration and passion you have for the mental health community through this post. It’s so beautifully written and personal. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for saying that as I do have passion for this. I’m glad it cones across. I think it is a human rights issues one of the major ones of our generation thank you for the kindness

      Like

      • Arwen says:

        It really is. It’s always important to look at the individual, not their behavior or circumstances. It’s too easy to start categorizing people and demonizing them, when really, we’re all human beings who need compassion and love. You’re so right that failing to treat people as people only perpetuates the problem that often got them there in the first place.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The way we treat our sickest people makrs them worse, which is a major reason why recidivism is so high. There needs to be a complete change

        Like

  23. jesstme123 says:

    Beautifully written, I just had 50 days sober and started to drink again. I have two little ones and hope to have grandchildren one day, I was going to go home and get a bottle of wine tonight but this brought me to tears.I’m going to go home and make sure they know how much I love them and they mean to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Kricket says:

    Wow! No other words at this moment. Just a wow. That’s a very deep and heart-felt story, grasped me from the start.

    I grew up in a family alcoholics and drug addicts. My home, was the local country line bar and this story wow’ed me because it reminds me of some of the things I saw, learnt and grew up surrounded by and experienced. I shed a few tears with this one, nicely written and thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kind words. Anyone who has seen this is blessed with the gift of the truth, but it’s not always fun to receive this gift

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kricket says:

        Not always fun but, who said everything in life was cherries n creme and rainbows with happy little leprechauns dancing around…. No one, because you have to embrace everything as a cherished and valuable moment in life, whether it harsh or through perfect rose colored glasses, all in life is a precious lesson. A lesson on the harshest of times or the most vast times filled with laughter and smiles, we’re always learning something valuable. We just have to open our eyes, our minds and see it, accept it and use it to our best ability.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I love the way toy look at things ands the way you say them. Perfect

        Liked by 1 person

      • Kricket says:

        Thank you. I try to stay focused on the reality of life, though may be hard to accept some of what life offers, I have to keep grasp on the positive side that everything in life is a gift, even if it’s nature might be cruel. I am simply, a person that has seen, heard and loved through much and someone that can at times, take her own advise. 🙂

        I appreciate your kind words.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Reblogged this on Dharmesh Joshi and commented:
    Just HAD to share it. A must read, picking up someone isn’t just giving them a hand but at times it is about getting down with them on the dirty ground and carrying them on our shoulders while they keep on kicking yiu. You ask WHY? The answer is simple, because they need help and you can help.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Diary Away says:

    Wow.. I didn’t expect that the drunk lady turned out to be your grandma and the oldest daughter your mom. Your mother is indeed a very strong woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. birdmom9726 says:

    This is an amazing post. I have a very dear friend who is struggling with alcohol, and thought I was helping him the best way I could by not enabling him. However, because of your post, I am looking at my approach in a different way. It’s not just about not enabling – it’s a lot more. Thank you. I’ll be following your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you have to take care of yourself, and if you are in to much pain, then allow someone else to be that person because if y ou cannot handle it and try to help, more damage will be done. Make sure you are healthy yourself before going in to the pit. Or it would be like a bleeding surgeon passing his own blood onto the already sick patient. But if you are able, love and compassion will always work over anything else

      Like

  28. […] who fought for social justice who never knew if they would ever see the fruits of their labor. Like this amazing daughter who showed such an unconditional, persistent love to her alcoholic mother. People who struggle on, […]

    Liked by 1 person

  29. smithaw50 says:

    Speechless. That ending brought tears. “until every cage is empty.” Bless you, now and forever.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. miss agatha armstrong says:

    A beautiful piece of writing. So terribly sad. But it shows that through love, and a huge amount of love you can stop the cycle. I grew up with a drunk abusive grandfather… Despite everything, I loved Him very very much, no matter how hard he hurt me or the people around him. I do not drink, I suppose the occasional drink, for social reasons… But it will always haunt me the damage it does. Thank you for following me, and I look forward to reading more from you. Be well friend x. Be strong x

    Liked by 1 person

  31. lucieguerre says:

    I don’t even know where to begin. This post, eloquent and insightful, has made me look at addiction in a completely different manner than I ever have before. When you talked about the mask people put on to handle anxiety and how they have to continue with that mask through their lives so they don’t have to face that anxiety, that hit home with me. As far as the story of your mother and your grandmother, that was poignant, and it left me with tears streaming down my cheeks. I have read several of your posts since seeing you chose to follow me. I am speechless, and that is a rarity for me. I am so impressed with your compassion and level of understanding.

    I have often found myself to be a compassionate, empathetic person, but you take that to a level I aspire. You are a strong, wonderful person; your struggles have made you into someone admirable. You have taken past experiences and instead of growing bitter, however easy that is to do, you have taken the higher road and grown better instead. Keep up the good work, and I hope you know you have a believer in me.

    I am going into Social Work, and I have a better way of looking at the people I will be working with, thanks to your perspective. Please keep writing. Also, check your email because I may like to contribute some of my own personal stories to your podcast. 🙂
    -L.G.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for all of this. This is amazing and makes me feel like it is worth it writing about these things. I will read my email. I am starting to get things together for the podcast to hear peoples stories and put them out there so we have a voice. Getting Close To Start ING it, So I Hope You Have Access To Skype So We Can Broadcast THE story. Thank you for all of this it made my day today. A day that’s not going so well for me and has me full of doubts. This is a good spark of hope to get today

      Liked by 1 person

      • lucieguerre says:

        It is most definitely worth writing about these things; it sends hope through me that there are people out there who have compassion and kindness in their hearts. I thanked an EMT the other day because of people like him, I am still alive; he shot me a blank look, and I’m sure he didn’t understand, but my gratitude needed to be expressed. I feel with you, I need to tell you your amazing compassion has changed my view. I feel myself to be empathetic as I previously mentioned, but you have brought empathy to a new level in my eyes. I would love to contribute to your podcast; it sounds like a very worthy project. I do believe I have access to Skype. I hope your day brightened, and the storm clouds started to lift. Do not doubt yourself; you are amazing, I can tell. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. You give me hope

        Like

  32. […] Edited from : Lost and Never Found: An Alcoholic’s Unknown Story. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I wanted you to know I reblogged, with some edits, on change your life!
    ( I hope you are okay with my edits). Take good care

    Liked by 1 person

  34. A Good Girl says:

    Oh my Lord. This is the most beautiful story of Love. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. bdlheart says:

    Wow. This was extremely hard to read. It took several attempts before I could read the entire post. Over a span of fourteen years, I worked in mental health and special education. I’ve seen different versions of this same story. I’ve worked with people who are so caught up in the person’s “behavior” that they don’t bother to understand the reasons behind the pain. People become their labels instead of human beings. People are not charts. People are people. This was sad, but brave of you to tell. I’m sorry you experienced this, but I’m thankful you are able to give others a voice through your story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was glad to have experienced this. It may be painful, but as in all of our painful times, there was great lessons that I would never want to give back. Thank yo so mich for your genuine kindness

      Liked by 1 person

      • bdlheart says:

        It is ironic that we get a gift from the trauma. We are able to be compassionate and some even have natural abilities as therapists, teachers, etc. On the artistic side, many trauma survivors have a knack for words and images.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutley the best artists come from trauma check out pamela spiro wagners blog for evidence of that. Also what therapists try to gain from years of schooling is not near what an actual survivor gains especially when they recover. It is amazing. Bitter but beautiful. That’s why I believe we should take survivors and do whatever it takes to get them to be the future therapists

        Liked by 1 person

      • bdlheart says:

        Would like to check out Pamela’s blog. Can you send me the link? My Auntie is a therapist and survivor.

        Liked by 1 person

  36. bdlheart says:

    Reblogged this on bdlheart and commented:
    Takingoffthemask gives a real world account of the reality of mental illness. When he spoke of people with mental illness being treated as if they weren’t human beings I felt like jumping off the kitchen chair and yelling, “YES!” When I was hospitalized it was as if I weren’t a person, but a chart. It was as though I were a criminal not a person. People are so afraid of mental illness. They have no idea how afraid the mentally ill are of everyday life and people. TRIGGER WARNING-This is pretty descriptive about abuse at times. Make sure you are in a good space when you read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. ReelCarina says:

    Wow, this is powerfully written! It happens just too often that society simply blames the person that is apparently guilty, aka the mother. Society & the media (almost) never make a real effort to see what’s really going on. No one cares about the background. So I hope your story touches people and makes them think twice before blaming any person. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We love to blame the victim. People thrive on having a scapegoat, usually someone who won’t or can’t fight back becaise of the pain. I’ve been there, but I’m not afraid to speak the truth anymore. Thank you for this

      Liked by 1 person

  38. roweeee says:

    Thank you once again for touching my heart and taking me on such an incredible journey. It is a rainy day here in Sydney and my keyboard is perched on top of my little black scruffy dog who was frightened in the rain. I thank you for all you have shared with me xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

  39. roweeee says:

    Reblogged this on beyondtheflow and commented:
    Wow! This is my second reblob from Taking the Mask Off today. If you believe in changing the world, you must read and act on this xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

  40. gmgoetz says:

    Reblogged this on thotsfromgeorge and commented:
    Reblogged.
    Please read with your heart. Very touching and good.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. […] Takingthemaskoff One of the posts you read and then it makes you think. And think. And think… and is still in your head days later… […]

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Reblogged this on Opportunities for Growth and commented:
    As I struggle to hold a space for the man I love, this speaks to strongly to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. gingersnap74 says:

    Wow! What an inspiring story! Brought tears to my eyes. I have been where your mother was. Struggling with an alcoholic mother. It’s been a hard journey for me and I still struggle even though my mother has stopped drinking for 22 years, it’s a strained relationship. I forgive her. I love her and I have compassion. We go through bouts of estrangement when I don’t always understand but I never stop hoping and I never give up. We recently reconciled (again) after almost a year of estrangement. The story speaks to me. Wonderfully written! Thank you for making other aware!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sounds like you have been thrive through alot. Came out stronger. That is an inspiratonn. It’s hard to explain to someone that hasn’t been there, but I believe people thst are given these difficulties are actually receiving a gift if they make it through. Maybe that’s just my way of rationalizing it.,

      But your have to be so strong to get through it, then you have such a better understanding of love and forgiveness, and that is what life is about

      Liked by 1 person

  44. there is something that stands out with your blog… the open truth… I have not experienced an alcoholic addict in my life but I have experienced being left by my dad and watched my mom struggle to bring us up…. my dad later reappeared when I was 13 and brought so much confusion in my life…my life was in such pain and confusion for a long time I tried asking and answering questions that I did not have answers…. but I thank God who helped me realize there is life beyond that pain… I learnt to forgive both myself and my dad….and I let go…I chose to love him until he passed away… today I chose to love those who are lost and forsaken…they also need a lot of love.. they did not just chose to be those ugly people…they just met life at its worst and did not know how to deal with it…. love it not confined only to the good but also to those that we see as bad….an embrace goes along way… lets embrace them! kudos to you for coming out and telling it as it is!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. […] Source: Lost and Never Found: An Alcoholic’s Unknown Story […]

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s